The lushness of it all comes from the great Indus river and its tributaries, formed of run-off from the towering Karakoram to the north, home of K2, the world’s second-highest peak. But despite the unusual greenery, local sources discount the idea that the Test ground is some sort of Indian Headingley, with lots of zippy seam and swing. Haven’t seen the pitch myself, so we’ll see.

Like almost everyone else, I arrived by plane. Jet travel is booming in India, with some operators offering fares as low as ten pounds. But you do miss the old trains: a chat, a chai and chance to read a book. They certainly gave you more to write about. (Though the experience can be romanticised: I once spent 56 hours trapped in a small cabin with a man who ate nothing but the yolks of hard-boiled eggs – with predictable gastric results.)

OK, to finish, a little quiz. No points for guessing India’s biggest tourist attraction*. But the second? Well reportedly it is the ‘Rock Gardens’ here in Chandigarh. They are the strangely beautiful product of one man’s imagination, a surreal fantasy land of rocky chasms, waterfalls and statues, all built from overlooked bits and pieces (a bit like the England one-day team under Adam Hollioake). And it was almost all assembled by one man: Nek Chand, a retired roads inspector, who became a kind of Chandigarh super womble, a Dali of the dustbins. It’s all very impressive. And if one bloke can make the country's second-biggest tourist attraction out of a few bits of rock, some broken plates and a little imagination, I reckon 11 English cricketers can win a Test match in India.

*Taj Mahal at Agra.