You must have read the news that Shane Warne is considering applying for a German passport so he can play county cricket as a non-overseas player next year. Aaron Timms takes the mickey out of Warne in the Sydney Morning Herald.

Warne has always been German to his core. So much has been clear from the first day of his Test career. After leaving the field at the end of play, he was asked how he felt. "Sehr gut," he replied. This was misunderstood to be a reference to his gut, and Warne paid the price for being German by having to endure a torrent of humiliating stories about his weight in the 15 years that followed. The signs multiplied. The stump in the air, the battle with nicotine, the incrimination of his mother after it became clear he had taken a diuretic: all were proof of Warne's indisputable Germanness.