The philosopher Umberto Eco has written thus about pornographic movies, "whose true and sole aim is to stimulate the spectator's desire, from beginning to end, and in such a way that, while his desire is stimulated by scenes of various and varied copulations, the rest of the story counts for nothing. Substitute 'six-hitting' for 'copulations' and you have a pretty accurate description of the Christchurch one-day international.
Thirty one sixes were hit on the day, and cricket, ostensibly a game between bat and ball was reduced to a game between bat and bat. This was cricket as pornography, in the finest traditions (if we can use that word for a format that is so young) of Twenty20.
It was magnificent, they said of the charge of the Light Brigade (cannons to the left of them, etc), but it was not war. Likewise, the one-dayer was magnificent, but it was not cricket. How can it be when bowlers were around merely to play straight men to batsmen who supplied the punch with all the joy of stand-up comics?
I had written (on the ESPN website) before the start of the one-day series that it could see one-day cricket's first-ever double century. This was due to three factors - the size of the grounds, the form of the batsmen, and above all, the influence of Twenty20 where hitting into the stands was part of the fun.
Instead of getting to the pitch of the ball, batsmen had developed the technique of getting the front foot out of the line and swinging through. It meant that straight sixes were hit with across bat, or, as Herschelle Gibbs once showed, batsmen could actually swivel and pull the ball to third man.
Sadly, the bowlers are being taken out of the equation (although it might have been interesting to see how Daniel Vettori might have reacted to the carnage in Christchurch), and that cannot be good for the game.
The one-day game, it has been said often enough, is about batting. And when teams make over 700 runs in a day in perfect batting conditions, with flair and flourish, bringing joy to spectators, it might be churlish to complain.
Wasn't it wonderful to watch Tendulkar and Yuvraj and Raina and Ryder and McCullum? Yes, but as Eco said, a movie in which there was only copulation would be intolerable. Physically for the actors, and economically for the producer.
And it also would be psychologically intolerable for the spectator. For the transgression to work, it must be played out against a background of normality. In porno movies, time is wasted by showing actors commuting or climbing stairs or changing clothes or whatever. In one-day cricket, the wickets, the run outs, the fielding play the same role - that of reminding us of normality.
India's last tour of NZ was blighted by poor pitches where the team struggled to reach 200, so perhaps this time NZ is trying to balance it out :-)
But, seriously it is silly to expect the power hitting skills honed in T20/IPL will not show up rudely elsewhere. Batsmen cannot be faulted for doing their job. The small grounds only make it look impossibly easy, but guys like Tendulkar and Yuvraj can clear even MCG on their day.
You do not offer any suggestions on how ODI cricket needs to redress the balance between bat and ball, but let me offer some : a) reviewing the front foot no-ball rule, b) removing some of the field restrictions and c) allowing upto 2 bowlers a side to bowl 15 overs each.
These simple changes would allow a more natural balance to exist, and will counteract the growing influence of the heavy modern bats and the pluck of the batsmen who wield them.
Posted by: sathyanarayanan on 03/09/2009
I partly agree to the writer's comment that there should be fair fight between bat and ball. Initially when they did the pitch report they said it was a belter but when sachin was struggling to time the ball in the first few overs commentators were saying it's 2 paced. But the quality of NZ bowlers lot left to be desired. Christchurh was always a small ground but then why until yesterday no one able to score that much. It's the quality of Indian batting and the poor bowling of Black caps enabled India to post that mammoth total. India's bowling and fielding better left unsaid. Generally Black Caps were tough to beat at home because they knew the size of the ground is small and more than anyone else they know how to bowl on these small grounds. I feel that that quality of the bowling left to be desired rather than the size of the ground.
Posted by: afzaal khan on 03/09/2009
once again hats off to u sir, excellent article and the problem that should be addressed quickly, there must be balance between bat and ball as it is cricket has become batsman game.
Posted by: Chin on 03/09/2009
I'm not in entire agreement with this, mostly because the level of bowling on show was appalling - regardless of the state of the pitch.
Posted by: Rick on 03/09/2009
That ground is just far too small. Hit in the air at AMI stadium and instead of getting caught just outside the circle, you'll take home a six. The risk in going over the top is almost non-existent. It seems like a bit of a cheat for any records to be set here. I blame rugby-centric stadium layouts.
Posted by: Teja on 03/09/2009
Yes, the ground was small and too many sixes were hit. There were some really intelligent shots -- like Sachin's sweep-six -- and the bowlers had their moments too; Mills bowling an excellent penultimate over, Yusuf Pathan replacing Munaf Patel and bowling the 4 balls that sealed the fate of the NZ innings and so on; it was just that they [the bowler's moments] weren't as many as the batsmen's; fair enough, bowling and batting can never be perfectly balanced anyway.
Besides, if you didn't get that sudden rise in adrenalin when you saw Dhoni's James Bond-esque I-doon't-even-care-where-ball-goes six, how's the catatonia going?
Posted by: Deepak on 03/09/2009
dude u seriously need to get your head examined...this match was much much better than many other high scoring mathces it was a contest between bat and ball but bat won beacuse of superior skill..too many bad balls dropped catches by both sides thats all...dotn be sooooo cynical
Posted by: Abhi on 03/09/2009
Hear hear!
Bring back bowlers into the game. But one thing I must say, it is the single worst display of bowling skills I have ever seen in my life by both teams.
They were all over the place, and simply for that reason, the runs were deserved.
Secondly, there must enforce a law which ensures the boundaries are at least 10 steps away from the popping crease. The groud was SO SMALL, I am sure even I would have been able to edge one ball for Six!
Posted by: Salvadesswaran Srinivasan on 03/09/2009
I think you're going a bit overboard. One cannot compare cricket, the game of gentlemen to such a pathetic movie genre. Yes, the batsmen dominated the match, but wasn't it close? When matches played on the slow tracks of the Caribbean or Sri Lanka are tolerated, these kind of matches need to be as well. Sure, too much of batting may kill the game, but with two rain affected matches, the spectators needed a full game, and they got their money's worth. I'm an Indian fan but I wanted Mills and Southee to tie the game, yes, not win but tie! That's why cricket ought to be like this - entertainment, closely fought encounters and a few unorthodox characters.
Posted by: Sridhar on 03/09/2009
Suresh, the run feast had more to do with the short boundaries and the quality of bowling at display.
The commentators kept saying that the pitch was two paced initially - it indeed looked like that before Yuvi imposed himself on the bowlers.
This kind of yellow journalism is nice, but does not convey anything.
Posted by: Michael Perera on 03/09/2009
As long as this doesn't happen in every game, I think we're alright. As you said, this was a unique combination of factors - in-form batsmen, small grounds, perfect batting conditions and the recently-completed T20s. I thought this was a great match, myself, but I'm happy with it being an aberration, as opposed to the norm, and that's what I think it was - an aberration. The bigger story was not the match aggregate or the number of sixes, but the fact that New Zealand fought until the end.
Posted by: RKM on 03/09/2009
Unadulterated nonsense
Posted by: Boo on 03/09/2009
Wow...if boundaries are hit there is a problem ,if wickets are taken there is a problem,if batsmen score hundreds there is a problem ....cricketers can't play according to how YOU wish ..just because it a small ground doesnt mean they shd not smash the bowlers..y can't we just accept that a better team won on that day...
Posted by: Mahek on 03/09/2009
Funny there's no mention of the utter trash dished out by most of the bowlers. It was the same pitch, same ground, same lineup and Jacob Oram conceded just 34 off his 8 overs.
Posted by: Faisal on 03/09/2009
I mean seriously, does NZ not have bigger grounds then this? Its ridiculous with what ease players were clearing the boundary........this is murder of cricket.
Posted by: varun kumar on 03/09/2009
yes it was a batsmen dominated game but u have to give credit for the skills for timing the ball so well.Though some catches were dropped there was an equal oppurtunity that a batsmen can get out for trying to hit every ball.At the last it just showed that indian batsmen have got the depth than kiwis..
Posted by: Wasim on 03/09/2009
I kind of agree with Sumit Sahai (India's last tour of NZ was blighted by poor pitches where the team struggled to reach 200). BUT It was only Mighty Indian batsmen who were having trouble facing the seam bowling. But you are right that New Zeland are trying to balance it out. After all New Zeland dont want to wait another 7+ years for a "Financially Lucrative" India team to tour NZ :)
Posted by: ST on 03/09/2009
The writer is way too deep into dirty films. I've never seen such insight and detailed analysis of porn movies. Get your head out of the gutter man! What a stupid article.
Posted by: Atish_G on 03/09/2009
This is limited overs cricket, not a test match, where teams need to be bowled out for a result. The real contest here is between two good teams, not between bat and ball. And I think the two teams did a great job of competing, and the spectators ended up with a fine day of limited overs cricket. For God's sake please stop applying the same yardstick for test matches and limited overs cricket. It's time to realise that they are different games !!
Posted by: D.V.C. on 03/09/2009
When we don't find sixes exciting any more, cricket dies. Somebody do something! I don't want cricket to die.
Posted by: cheel on 03/09/2009
Accurate description ? You must be out of ur mind Mr. Menon. I don't really see what u r so baffled about...the fact that the batsmen were outstanding in doing there job ? Sure enough u must have liked the Aus-SA game but Ind-NZ aren't supposed to be playing out such encounters there has to be something wrong with it eh, rite ?
Posted by: killed_by_menon on 03/09/2009
Bollocks
Posted by: amit k on 03/09/2009
It's right that the size of the ground was too small.in fact you do not want such a situation where the batsman has been completely beaten by the bowler in flight and yet his miscued shots go for a six,in that case the game does not give equal chance to the bowlers ,for the game is all about the contest between bat and ball.but we must also remember that even in todays era of 20-20 the game is interesting only when a fierce contest is going on between classy bowlers and great batsman,that is why IPL had produced great cricket and both quality batsmen and bowlers suceeded there.on the other hand mediocre batsmen and bowlers playing in england 20-20 county games or ICL produce boring cricket.so it's more about quality of the players . If 20-20 has changed the approach of the batsmen and made them more aggresive then bowlers should also develop skills to stop them like more yorkers and slower balls or the surprise bouncer none of which were used by bowlers of either side.
Posted by: Harry on 03/09/2009
My concern is for the kids watching, who of them are going to want to be the poor bowlers. In 20 years time, are there going to be any bowlers left. Bat makers can spend millions of dollars improving bats, but bowlers can't pick a seam, apply anything to the ball etc. Why not make a ball the bowling team can use in a real powerplay , raised seam, and ready to swing. Bring bowlers back into the game, or risk having none in 20 years.
Posted by: Anonymous on 03/09/2009
I thought it was a great game - and I'm a Kiwi! I love seeing batsmen on top of their game and seeing Tendulkar on fire is a real treat. Have you noticed that this series is about NZ Bowlers vs Indian Batsmen, that is the competition that deciders the result.
Posted by: Shane Legge on 03/10/2009
Totally agree with your article. Only 20-20 freaks enjoy this action. If all you want to see is sixes hit, why not dispense with bowlers altogether and just put a bowling machine at one end. The winner can be the team that slogs the most sixes on a batting paradise. Why would you want to be a bowler these days when this is what you get dished up?
Posted by: Sekhar on 03/10/2009
Mr.Suresh,what's your take on the ODI between Australia and SA in 2006 (the one when cricket got to see its first 400+ score in ODIs) when 26 sixes were hit in Johannesburg?
Posted by: Don Pablo on 03/11/2009
Agreed that the small grounds are unfair but as a batsman u still need to play out of ur skin to score 392 in 50 overs. I think u suffer from the same colonial mentalitiy that most of the indian media suffers from, u guys just cant accept a good performance from the Indians u have to find something wrong with it. In this case u cudn't find anything else so started to compare it to porno ? thats ridiculuos and cheap I must say. U shud prolly start accepting the fact that this indian batting line up is great, its not just here they are racking up huge totals they made 387 against Eng, and crossed 350 twice against SL. So many other teams have played at the AMI stadium and this was only the 3rd instance of a 300+ score.
If I rem right then wasn't the ball supposed to dominate the bat this series and now that it didn't happen is due to brilliant batting not bcoz of the grnd or t20.
Posted by: ramnath on 03/11/2009
writer's block !
Posted by: prakash on 03/13/2009
Suresh, Try this. Go to any small ground.. Ask some decent medium pacers to bowl.And try whacking it for all Sixes. If you are really Successful I wll tell you wat can be done next...
Posted by: smallrope tricks on 03/17/2009
I will tell you a secret which you would not like to hear. Psst.. it was poor bowling by both teams. nor T20 effect. and yes the grounds are small (have been for last many years)
Posted by: SPV on 04/01/2009
The grounds were small, which resulted in a deluge of sixes. If they were bigger, we might not have had the cricketing equivalent of a porno.
So here we have it.
Size does matter.
Suresh Menon went from being a promising cricketer to a has-been, without the intervening period of a major career. He played league cricket in three cities with a group of overgrown enthusiasts who had the reverse of amnesia they could remember things that never happened. For example, taking incredible catches at slip, or scoring centuries. Somehow Menon found the time to be the sports editor of the Pioneer and the Indian Express in New Delhi, Gulf News in Dubai, and the editor of the New Indian Express in Chennai. Now a columnist, he has begun to think he might never play for India. He will, though, write on India's major series on this blog.