The first time I represented my school was when I was 14. I was studying at the time in a boarding school where the cricket team only had one match a year. It was the first time I saw a ball swing and also the first time that my best friend (very fast bowler) would try and knock my head of during practice. When I was a child, I dreamed of being Javagal Srinath, the sole bearer of pace in the Indian teams of the 90's. By the time I was 14, I had to settle for medium pace with a bit of swing and being a handy batsmen. The game we played against another boarding was strange in a way because it was the first time I had played on a matting wicket. We were beaten, and every attempt by our bowlers to intimidate the opposition resulted in a reply somewhere along the lines of "Good ball" after it had flashed past his nose.

The following year we beat them on their home turf in front of 300 of their students and cheerleaders! I hardly played a role in either of these two games, scoring one run of the last ball of the innings in the first and being run out for 2 in the second. The run out was shambolic I might add. I did not get an over in either of these games. When I returned to Mumbai, after changing schools, I was quite shocked at the lack of decent cricketers on our team. I was drafted in as a no.4 batsmen (too high a number for my skills) and the teams opening bowler.

My recent record speaks volumes for what has happened to our team. I have had two golden ducks in successive games after being given the responsibility of the captaincy and have failed to understand why wickets have bounce below my knees. Trying to dig a ball in short and get it above the height of the batsmens chest is virtually impossible. My bowling has not been as bad as my batting but I think cricket is a team sport and my perofrmance should not matter all that much. (Our total in the second games speaks volumes of our batting talent: all out for 103 chasing 170, no.10 was the highest scorer.)

For a lot of people like me, cricket is not all about winning or losing, it's about enjoying the game and so for me scores will not matter. I will try to keep going as captain although my tenure is nearing its end and also will try to keep enjoying the game and not worrying about international cricket. It's the passion in people that drives them toward the game, not entertainment like a Twenty20 match. That will always remain part of me.