For starters, he never could have been that great on any individual sport, so that more or less automatically rules him out of possible careers in tennis, badminton, squash, or even long jump or golf for that matter. Everything about Inzi suggests he’s a team player: the large overbearing figure, the unkempt hair, the Hakuna Matata philosophy on which he seems to live on, each of these traits, one could argue, suggests a preoccupation with a greater purposes.

It suggests as much a simple lack of time to dwell on trivial matters like keeping his Body Mass Index in check or brushing his hair or get pressurized in a tricky situation, as much as it indicates of a particular paterfamilias sort of figure, who has a calming influence on his fraternity and that will remain like that come no matter what (although the odd three minute session in front of a mirror with a comb in hand could do no harm).

Perhaps also, individual sport would have been too self-centered for him, (how possibly could he survive a post match press conference without having to “thankzzz” every person in his back up staff, whatever the result of his match might have been, without referring to them as “boyzzz”).

He couldn’t have been a footballer either (that would require far too much running then Inzi would like), that leaves us with rugby, which you have to rule out because it’s quite possibly too physical.

And a lot of the remaining sports like motor sports for instance you simply have to rule out because they don’t have grandeur mid game breaks for food intake; in Inzi land, such things probably don’t even qualify as proper sports. But then, on that basis alone, one could possibly have ruled out everything but cricket.

But if you’re wondering, what exactly is my point then I shall proceed without further ado and get to it. You see, tomorrow, Inzi shall lead Pakistan away in Sri Lanka in the first test of a ridiculously small, two test match telefilm (you can’t call it a series when it’s this short). It will be Inzi’s 108th test, the 20th as captain.

No special occasion as such, but given, in recent times, I’ve felt a growing sense frustration at his relative absentmindedness and tactical scantiness when leading Pakistan, and that my patience has been thin on him, and that I’ve lashed out at every little mistake he’s made and criticized him for it, often even suggesting it has cost Pakistan matches, I thought it was time that I kept aside my grave, unsympathetic, analytical observer of the game hat and returned to my naïve, Panglossian fan roots for a while and do a good, old fashioned “why I love Inzi” post.

Perhaps this will reverse recent an uncharacteristic loss of form (scores from Inzi’s last 8 ODIs read 16, 8, 16, 49, 21, 24, 1, 12) and trigger the more familiar, “I so won’t get out without making an important score” mood he had not that long ago (scores from his last 5 tests read 53, 72, 109, 100*, 97, 1, 119). Here’s hoping.

Cross Posted from Cow Corner

It's sad to see that Inzi has only played only 107 tests so far. No matter how much we badmouth his physical fitness (since we all tend to judge the book by its cover), the fact remains that Inzi has barely missed a dozen tests over the last 14 years. On the other hand, he has played well over 300 ODI's - a ridiculous 25+ ODI/year average over such a long career.

The point of bringing this up is to distract attention of cricket supporters from Jimmy Anderson's new wife and Shane Warne's failing (or failed) relationship to the more significant issues. ICC's FTP (future tours programme? correct me if I'm worng) has Pakistan playing 54 Tests over the next 5 seasons. In the same time period, England, Australia and India are playing over 70. And then there's talk about how Inzi is neck and neck with Dravid and Ponting in the run-scoring race!!! Inzi just doesn't play as often as the other two. Unfair, I say, unjust!