It’s quite astonishing to note that for 14 years prior to 2004 India had hadn’t come for a full test and ODI tour to Pakistan, the breakthrough tour in March that year was only possible after the Indian team was finally released by its government to do so, after previously preventing them playing against Pakistan in any bilateral competition. Then there was the long and tedious effort that went into convincing the Indians of the security situation in Pakistan being OK.

From all that, we are now at a stage where this forthcoming series will be either side’s 3rd full tour in the space of the last 20 months! And I’m not even mentioning the plethora of one-day matches played in between, for a variety of reasons, in a variety of places, as diverse as Amsterdam, Birmingham and Calcutta. It’s obvious as day or night for everyone to see that India and Pakistan have over played each other in the recent past.

And concerns have grown amongst the authorities off late that any further continuation of this pattern will be akin to killing the goose that lays the golden egg (to quote Shehrayar Khan). This recent overdose though, I can all but guarantee, will not stop two nations from being gripped, when all the talking stops and the actions starts from coming Friday. Over 1 million in India, close to 150 billion in Pakistan and God knows how many of their expats living in different parts of the world will be totally engrossed, one way or the other. Make no mistake, this is exactly how things will be.

This is the time in India and Pakistan where everyone, irrespective of their love of the game, will follow the cricket, or feel compelled to. Contrary to popular belief, there are people here too who don’t follow the game, who aren’t in perceptual love with it, as are the overwhelming majority. In any other series, these people can get away with changing the channel when a cricket obsessed family member is watching a match, but not in an India vs. Pakistan match, because, well, simply because they’re outnumbered, on a rough scale, in a ratio of 5 to 1.

Let me explain. This theory works on the central assumption than an average family will have six members, out of which, one will be, type A, the cricket nerd. The kind who in other words knows the ABCs of the game, that will watch (or try to watch) every single game of cricket, not just a game involving his or her favorite team, but every international fixture, every domestic fixture if that’s possible.

He or she tends to be referred to as the ‘cricket tragic’ by the other members of the family. The complete reverse of which will of course be the aforementioned souls who tend to get outnumbered, type B in another words. Remarkably though their characteristic features are pretty similar to those of type A, the only difference though, although crucially, is the object of the obsession.

Whilst type A thinks, talks and walks cricket, type B thinks talk and walks Soaps. You’ve read that right, soaps, television soaps i.e. Type B will watch all Indian soaps running between 7 to 11 in the evening, and then watch their repeat telecasts again next afternoon, as well as watch all gossip related shows regarding these shows. Essentially though this species are driven by the desire to watch anything but sport on television, anything but what Type A wants to watch.

The remaining four members of the family all fall in type C, or the occasional type. Unlike type B and C, whose own individual members are broadly similar in their interests, type C members are a wholly diverse creation of The Almighty. They come in all shapes, sizes and types. They basically include fair-weather members of either types that go back and forth between Type A and Type B at various times. Sometimes, if they are young, they can grown up into being hard core Type B or Type A pupils.

Whether they are temporarily parting with Type A or B dictates what is watched on prime time television in the family room, and sometimes even what is discussed over dinner. What happens during an India Pakistan series is that all these Type C members side temporarily with Type A members (and hence the outnumber ratio of 5 to 1 for Type B).

Here’s hoping, that in your household, calm remains, that no type C members show any last minute loyalties toward Type B ones, that the electricity through out remains intact and that you get to watch every single ball (and all the tosses and presentations ceremonies for good measure). Because remember, not everyone that’s lucky. Happy cricket watching!

Wonderful post Zainub.

No one thing about sub-continent family viewing of Indo-Pak matches needs to be highlighted more than the one you spoke about. Pretty analytically too.

On the flip side though I can listen to the sound of some B-typer hitting his / her keyboard rather unkindly while shedding buckets of e-tears thru a post, expressing soon-to-come months of soapless torment.

"1 million in India, close to 150 billion in Pakistan."

If that was true, Pakistan would be pretty crowded.

150 Billion in Pakistan. Yes it would be pretty crowded, but perhaps the pakistanis might be able to unearth one or two "Technically sound" batsmen, since with 150 million apparently( according to Sehwag) we have failed to do so.

Pretty interesting analysis of indo-pak cricket watching families. I am myself a survivor of Type B's continuous taunting. I somehow get away with my love for cricket. Nice post, Zainub.

I think she meant 1 billion in India and 150 million in Pakistan.
Very interesting post and as a Pakistani female, one that I can totally identify with. Most people would think that Type B's and their clones are the females but in my extended family it's quite opposite where the majority of the females show more interest in cricket than the males. My grandmother believes something is wrong with her grandsons because of their apathy towards cricket. In my immediate family nobody watches soaps, thank god.