Opening the innings with his repellent dreadlocks is the Jamaican lefthander, Christopher Gayle. Opening with him, in over grown natural curls, will be the Kiwi youngster James Marshall, who made his test debut earlier in April against Australia.

At 3 will be his twin brother Hamish, who took devotion to retro to new heights with his 'If this doesn't scare you, I don't know what will' look sported in the historic circus act of the first ever 20 Twenty International between trans Tasman rivals Australia and New Zealand.

At four will be the skipper Younis Khan and his disturbing bangs, and his vice captain KP Skunk will be accommodated at 5. Shahid Afridi will take the all rounder's spot at 6 whilst M. S. Dhoni and his atrocious red highlights will win the battle for the wicket keeper's slot despite the best attempts of Sangakkara.

With the batting order selected without many problems, TAFHCA had a real selection nightmare when it came to picking its bowlers. Such was the abundance of bad-haired fast bowlers that we decided Afridi and Gayle's spin could alone cater for the slow bowling department, allowing us to select a four pronged seam attack. Otherwise Bangladesh's Mohammad Rafique would have been a shoe in.

Dizzy Gillespie’s very dodgy mullet and stone wall batting got him the nod at 8 and fellow night-watchman Mathew Hoggard will be his new ball partner at 9. Nathan Bracken would be the third and finally Aussie to make it into 2005's Bad Hair XI at 10, and after a close battle with Sami and Liam Plunkett for the number XI spot, Jimmy Anderson got the nod eventually on having greater 'shock' value.

Andy Symonds, who missed out because two dreadlocks in the same side would have resulted in considerable chaos, would accompany the touring party as 12th man while David Boon will perform the duties of coach.

Even though watching these players in action is quite a task (TAFHCA advises viewer discretion when seeing them at all times), we have, nevertheless agreed to play an imaginary one off test and 20 Twenty International against a TAFHCA selected 2005 Good Hair XI (which is to be revealed soon) on an imaginary man-made island south of Madagascar on the agreement that all players from the touring side will not take off their hats, helmets, caps or other head gears without the necessary security arrangements being in place.

There is little chance though despite that, that the touring side will agree to visit the TAFHCA commissioned hair salon on the island. All proceedings from the tour will go to the 'Take-me-to-the-TAFHCA-hero-King-of-Spain-and-take-me-there-fast' Appeal.

The Official TAFHCA Select 2005 Bad Hair XI:

1. Chris Gayle 2. James Marshall 3. Hamish Marshall 4. Younis Khan* 5. Kevin Pietersen 6. Shahid Afridi 7. M. S. Dhoni + 8. Jason Gillespie 9. Mathew Hoggard 10. Nathan Bracken 11. James Anderson 12th man: Andy Symonds Coach cum manager: David Boon

Zainub that was deplorable partiality towards David Boon. I mean how can he even come close to the 'Don of Bad Hair' Rameez Raja?

TAFHCA does not have any soft or hard spots for people from specific nationalities, Ang. Raja escaped the job of coach because he was needed in the commentary box.

C'mon! Murali Karthik (pre-IND-SL test series) was a shoe-in, I thought.

cmon shahid afridi is one of the smartest guys in cricket.

Your preoccupation with weight ( chubby cricketers ) and hair does you no favours at all, since as far as I can see , you are the only lady blogger and the only pro-Pakistan blogger, a token on both counts. I would like to give you the benefit of the doubt, but as long as you talk of hair and weight , well, you only reinforce the idea that women enjoy cricket from a shallow and superficial point of view, and thus should not be treated with anything other than a patronizing and condescending attitude. I would beg to differ but you don't help with your lightweight observations. I hate being patronized and called as I was recently, " a little bit ignorant" so I do not like to be patronizing towards others, especially women, when in my personal experience I have come across many women in many countries who knew their sports inside out, in Australia, cricket, in the States NFL and Baseball, in Singapore and Malaysia, football. Anyway, best of luck, I'm on YOUR side, and Merry Christmas.

Simon Jones' and Freddie Flintoff's recent buzz cut is pretty uncreative for celebrities of such stature. Dude, you're playing cricket, not training for the army.

I think Fred has a naturally sluggish hair growth rate, and I understand why his look may come across as 'uncreative' to some but you can't blame him for being conservative, can you? Not the least when he's seen in the form of the example set forth by some of this team mates what so-called 'creativity' in the hairstyling can result in.

Feroz, it is true that I am fascinated by the less-important facets of cricket, ‘lightweight observations’ as you call them, and also that it has a strong connection with my gender, but I am not preoccupied with them by any means. Commenting on people’s hairstyles and weight is just a trivial past time of mine, which I indulge partly to give my blogging style a unique character, so that people enjoy it. I can assure you though that this is not something high on my list of entertainment drivers when I am actually watchingt the cricket. I am best entertained not by well groomed cricketers but by well groomed cricket. Lastly, I am pleased to know you’re on ‘my side’. Just for the record, I also enjoy field hockey, tennis and football whilst being in the process of getting to grips with Rugby.

More Pakistan Supporters please! At least, a little balance, which might lead to a healthy , lively debate rather than the "Love-Ins" which we are regularly subjected to, ie "Lovely" Brilliant Wonderful Spot on and so forth to observations that are often, at best unremarkable and at worst, so glaringly obvious, my dead grandmother would have rolled over in her grave in disgust.
Cheers Zainub and take care.

I would like to circle back to Feroz's earlier post and request Zainub to use this blog to voice Pakistani cricket concerns and issues. For example, can someone please explain to me why Pakistan has not played a 5-test series since summer 1992. Sure, it doesn't bring the world to an end, but I believe all Pakistani supporters would like to watch less frequent but longer test series againt India, Australia and England.

In response to Jay's question about no 5 Test series ( I thought it was 96! it it really that long? unbelievable!)I put forth 3 reasons:
1. They make more Money with 2 countries touring in a summer(meaning Eng and Oz).
2. We only resumed Tests with India recently, so no chance there.
3. Teams were just scared to lose to us at their HQ, i.e S, Africa, NZ, S.Lanka, W.Indies.
Our biggest overseas crowd would be in England, other places, perhaps we can't sell enough tickets.

hey you forgot many players, how about tendulker, he got worst. Hmmm!!!
there are many players and you did not taken them.
also you will be perfect for their trainer.

hi,

place sewhag there..4 not having hair on head...