Enter Anu Garg, the author of the brilliant AWAD – A Word A Day – books and newsletter. I’m subscribed to the newsletter. It’s a brilliant kick-up read, especially if you read it after watching a live cricket broadcast.

For a self confessed pedant like my self listening to some of these modern day commentators is a demanding task, made mildly Herculean when some of them insist on breaking the world record for longest duration in between positive thought occurred or hair cuts taken or sentence said where they haven’t brutally executed the grammar, pronunciation, and subject verb agreement of the language they claim to be speaking in!

Yesterday’s newsletter was a greeting from Anu, wishing happy words to all his linguaphiles. “This holiday season” he said, “as we contemplate gifts for people on our list, let's remember that the gift of time is perhaps best of all.” “But for those times when we can't offer the perfect gift”, he continued “may we suggest the second-best – the gift of words.”

At that point I wished I had the email addresses of Bob Willis, Arun Lal, Waqar Younus, Ian Smith & Pat Symcox et all –all members of the virtual ‘Insightful Commentary Is A Must No-No Society’. Coming to think of it, nearly all international commentators could do with a-word-day free gift subscription.

Othewise, you tell me, why is the case that in nearly every ex-player turned commentator’s lexicon everything from a perfectly timed off, on, square or cover drive to a well placed cut, pull or hook shot is simply a beautiful or lovely shot?

Isn’t it their responsibility to tell the viewer exactly how beautiful or lovely it is? Forget the viewer, isn’t it the right of the shot to be described with a more worthy descriptive epithet then simply good or beautiful?

People like Geoff Boycott for all his straight talk, but all he manages at times for a faultless cover drive, that after coming off the exact middle of the bat will bisect the gap between the cover and extra cover fielders, and then race to the boundary without either coming any way close to stopping it, is a disturbingly high pitched passionate shout of “SHOT!”

Sometimes commentators think elaborate variation in voice volume does justice to the action, but it doesn’t. It actually endangers people’s eardrums. The odd appreciable commentator going around does remember to use more creditable adjectives then good, bad, beautiful or awful shot! But bowlers and fielders almost never get their due.

Admittedly there is limited one can do when you’ve got a glossary comprising of odd terms like googly, in-dipper, off-cutter, slider, zooter, flipper etc to contend with but still. I’m appalled every time Beefy says ‘well bowled’, talk about totally eradicating the very pleasure of watching yet another Englishman not picking Kaneria’s wrong’on!

Fielders are probably the biggest victims of the modern day commentator’s penchant for all things terse. Ian Blackwell is such a character, like Inzi he’s a throw back to the good old days, when you needn’t had the figure of a Marc Anthony to have a fan club the size of KP or Afridi’s.

It’s the second innings of the match now, and Blackwell has just chased down a half timed pull from Mohammad Yousuf, somewhere in between mid wicket and mid on.

The pair ran a three quite easily when only two looked gettable, and all the commentator then on air said was: “Blackwell was a bit surprised”. Surprised, my foot!

If the extremely rare and priceless ‘did-you-just-take-an-extra-run-of-me-because-you-think-I’m-fat-and-I-can’t-sprint-fast-enough’ look is equivalent to just “surprise” then this blog post isn’t a full fledged rant on shoddy cricket commentary, but merely an observation.

I really wouldn’t have been this hyper critical of international commentators if a laconic vocabulary was their only wrongdoing, believe me, I wouldn’t, but sadly that’s not the case. More often then not television cricket commentary is clichéd, boring, uninspiring, inadequate, unimaginative and sometimes even downright ignorant.

There are too many people out there who live in the past, too many who suffer from ‘east-or-west-my-side-is-the-best’ syndrome, too many supposedly sarcastic wits, not enough genuinely intelligent, knowledgeable observes, unbiased, funny characters.

Television producers need to stop employing one highly successful ex cricketer after another and start looking for people that can actually add some value to the broadcast.

But until they get that much sense, God bless radio commentary. Good old Blowers and Chishty Mujahid etc. Next time I think it might be a good idea to turn the volume to mute, turn the radio on, and then enjoy the cricket.

Condemning the standard of cricket commentary is like shooting fish in a barrell. But the blunt truth is that some of these 'fish' don't need to be shot so much as gutted and grilled lightly with a garnish of lemon.

Dean Jones, for example. My goodness, there was a man who could drive the viewer insane. Tony Greig's inanity has burned itself into Australian folklore after 25 years of inanity. Bob Willis bores for England and loves his work.

And maybe the reason that Richie Benaud is such a legendary figure is not so much the excellence of his commentaries, but the ineptitude of his co-workers?

I think the comments on the commentators makes good sense -- Today We have only a few good commentators left, among them Richie Benaud, and Ian Chappell and I would put Mark Nicholas and Harsha Bhogle among them for the simple reason that they make listening a pleasure.

Compare them to the endless chatter that We are forced to hear from the commentators in the India-Sri Lanka series.

They just don’t seem to stop, explain (rather read out) every graphic presented before them and describe each shot as a "magnificent", "beautiful" or even "amazing" at times.

Arun Lal is a real bore -- Try listening to him, would start off with "This is", "That is" and stutter along while good old Sri Lankan Ranjit Fernando never misses a moment to praise his home team. And a word of wisdom from Ranil Abeynayake - "Thilan Samaraweera is carrying his form" (Don't know whether it makes any sense)

All in all, "Commentator's curse is upon us" :-)

Umm Zainub thath's straight bath stuff from ya. Speakin of terrible and killing commentary haav ya ever heard of me who once bowled thath great over to Boycs, or yar own Rameez of the permanent bad hair fame? We are anyday ahead of da ones ya mentioned. And when we 'run out' of ideas its time for Sanjay Manjrekar to take over the house of horrors.

i think sanjay manjrekar is pretty good, he makes reasonable comments and is sympathetic to your average test cricketer, rather than crucifying them, repeatedly. I also think Ian Healy is pretty good. How tony grieg still has a job, i don't know. He is excited but seems to have little sense.

Well the level of comments given by these high famed and well payed commentators in the on going Pakistan-England series is no less than horrendous. People like Rameez raja, Boycott, Wasim, botham, willis and company may have good knowledge of cricket but there is also some thing called communication skills. I mean why on earth can't we have more Richi Benaud, Mark nicholas and Harsha bhogle, people who are easy on your ears and knowledge able as well. Then comes the Biasness, people from sky won't give due credit to Pakistani team and sometimes its the other way around, and as most of you would have noticed why is there no blog for the current umpiring standards and some of the horrendous decisions made in England-Pakistan and Australia-WestIndies test series.

Commentary! What about the pre-match, lunch break and post match analysis (if you can call it that!). fed up of watching inane TV comedies...just tune in to Doordarshan's match analysis hosted by the insufferable Charu Sharma and joined in by the madeening Srikkanth, Mohinder Amarnath and Atul Wassan. The saving grace (god save us!) is the lady on the show-Anju Chopra

Sorry, but I just don't see how anyone can say Beefy and Waqar have "knowledge" about the game. It's astonishing how ignorant they can be, considering how long each of their careers were, and how successful they were. Just downright astonishing.

For instance, they went on and on for ages about why KP was on the field yesterday, ranting about the risks, forgetting the very basic rules of cricket, that if you have sustained an injury during a match, only then can you have a full time sub, if you have you come into the game already hurt, like KP had, you pay the price for taking that risk, and are allowed no subs. In the test matches Beefy and others were also unaware of the Law 38.2 , that which meant Inzi couldn't have been run out from Harmsison's throw, because he was taking evasive action. Only Manjerekar knew this.

As far as I'm concerned, Beefy is the most ill-informed, biased, unbearable commentator on the planet, I'll take even Bob Willis over him.

Sanjay Manjerakar is a breath of fresh air in the Ten Sports team. Not only is he well aware, but as Ram Seshadri said he is realistic in both his praise and criticism of the players. And he isn't biased by any stretch of imagination. His hairstyle is also acceptable.

Well, feels good to learn that Sanjay is capable of reigning in his biases when India is not playing....Like that man's friendly style actually - if only he could refrain from passing remarks without adequate backup. But he is not alone either - the well-respected Ravi Shastri is another one who is quite brazen with his biases.

And nobody uttered anything about the unofficial world champions of them all collectively - the South Africans. Partiality, inaccuracy, repetitiveness - you name it, they take the honours. God bless the guy who spared us death by inventing the 'mute' button.

Heard that Dermot Reeve is a pretty interesting personality and has a few talents worth showcasing. When does he make his debut in international cricket commentary? Seriously there is need of both powerplay and (more importantly) supersub in this particular field. These guys are pivotal to the spread of the game, more than the ICC can ever do.

Miss Mark Nicholas though - long time since he commentated in Asia.

Cricket commentary ranges from the abysmal to the mediocre. Form takes precedence over actual substance and too often the only valuable contributions to the pretty moving pictures are the ones served up by those indefatigable worker bees, the statisticians. As Indians we have had the joy to sit through the vacuousness of an Arun Lal; the cluelessness, lack of any remote semblances of original ideas and complete absence of any form of insight of a Ranjit Fernando; and perhaps the vehement oscillation of opinion from a Ranil Abeynaike. There are more individuals that merit mention but that would make this rant too difficult to carry off with any civility.
Compound this with a so-called analysis section featuring Mohinder Amarnath, a great player but a poor vocalist, waxing lyrically about something purposefully inane, the obduracy of a Srikkanth and the grating feeling that Charu Sharma manages to impress on one, and you'll figure out how refreshing Anjum Chopra with her sensible, concise opinions can seem.
Manjrekar has of course contracted himself to Ten Sports and Zee TV has proceeded to extinguish any hopes of the ESPN-STAR team enriching our matches. Enriching, you ask? Come live with the commentary we're forced to live with and you'll count your lucky stars for every inanity Tony Greig occurs. You'll even wax nostalgic about Waqar- at least he knew which side the ball was shiny on!!!

Nicholas isn't my cup of tea, I don't think I'd want him over in Asia, not unless he can do something with his accent, I find is strangely annoying. His attitude comes across very alletist to me, and don't like sudden high pitched shouts as I said. I like subtle changes, ala Benaud. One guy I certainly like to see commentate in the sub continent is Simon Hughes, I loved his role as the analyst at CH 4, and his jargon busters are nice too. Would be nice to reflect on , for instance, all of Shoaib's slower balls, with him, and the super-slow-motion (400 or something frames per second) replays, if he was here. I'm so sad he doesn't have a job now. Hopefully CH 9 in Australia will hire him. If Sky offer his a job, he should turn it down on moral grounds. No one should agree to work with Bob Willis.

And you're too right about South African commentators, Robin Jackman is the only shinning light amongst them. Pat Symcox is the worst, but at times Mike Haysman gives him a good run for that title. Allan Donald has had a go at commentary too, and is yet to develop a style of his own. The jury is probably still out on him.

Dermot Reeve was working for CH 4 and have heard some good opinions about him.
True about the South Africans, biased to the hilt. As Deepak pointed out Robin Jackman is the only shining beacon.
I think Tony Cozier deserves a mention too, here is one guy who is not biased and renders some good thoughts.

I think We should have a poll for the best commentators and the worst ones in business. What say ?

Sanjay Manjekar is a fine commentator, and he is usually very fair and unbiased when it comes to Pakistan. I agree with the comments vis-a-vis the rest, though I'm biased towards Boycott, he can do no wrong in my eyes. The guy who really bugs me, however is David Lloyd, who seems to think that viewers are visually impaired and insists on stating only the most patently obvious as often as he can. Ian Chappell and Bill Lawry are the best in the business and show us all how it should be done.

I withdraw all my comments about Sanjay - he must be doing a tremendous job there to get such tremendous support from discerning audiences. I agree to nearly every point that Param and Feroz have to say. And Feroz, it is only following the trail of your opening support for Boycs that I come out of my hideout and profess him to be my all-time favourite, with Sr. Chappell not too far behind.

A poll - aah, nothing like it. Nothing beats lashing bad commmentators with mouse clicks - there is little else to do in terms of payback for hours of mental annihilation ('disintegration' is too mild a term)

My favourite commentator is former Australian Test legspinner, Kerry O'Keeffe. Skull, as he's known, is capable of some of the funniest one-liners in, or out, of cricket. A brief scan of the internet brings up quotes like: In a Sri Lanka against Australia game Dilhara Fernando was called for a no-ball and questioned the umpire. Commentator Tim Lane asked O'Keeffe what the umpire might say in reply. O'Keefe deadpanned: "I think he might be saying, 'If I had to do the same again, I would my friend, Fernando'."

Discussing the biomechanical tests that take place to ascertain the legality of bowling actions: "Boy George would be considered straight at the University of Western Australia."

My personal fav though was in a game between Sri Lanka & Australia. Stuart MacGill had a towel hanging from his belt, to dry his hands from sweat. Skull commentated: "Stuey is lucky Arjuna Ranatunga has retired, or he'd be placing an order for dinner!"

Gold.

And he actually knows a lot about the game as well.

One can't help but wonder why is it that, even though the best cricket writers in the world are not former test cricketers, we expect commentators, consisting mostly of former test cricketers, to be great at their jobs?

I think producers of cricket boradcasts need to think long and hard about their philosophy behind selecting commentators. As of now it seems like the qualifications are -

- Must have played test cricket
- Must be able to speak decent english
- Must be willing to become a commentator

I wonder if they use any other criteria. The creativity, erudition, wittiness, vocabulary... I wonder if any of it is considered. I really doubt it. Why else would Tony Greig still get commentary gigs when 90% of what he says can be summed up in the following set of phrases - ("in comes the throw", "he's hit it hiiiiigh", "correction"). Why else would the entire Channel Nine commentary team keep reminding me of that Star Wars episode - Attack of the Clones? Why else would Mike Atherton, Robin Jackman, Bob Willis, Arun Lal, Ravi Shastri etc be considered good commentators?

A former test cricketer as a commentator makes sense only when he has a bagful of stories and anecdotes to narrate. Ian Chappell is a great example. Or else you need a cricketer who is also good with the language. Two completely different names come to mind - Richie Benaud, who can fit in maximum punch in the minimum number of words, and Navjyot Singh Sidhu, who genuinely makes an effort to keep coming up with newer phrases. However Sidhu loves the sound of his own voice too much to be a good commentator.

The best commentator in world cricket is someone who has played no first class cricket. In fact he is an MBA - Harsha Bhogle. What makes Harsha great is the fact that he is great with the language, is a great listener, and can strike up a great conversation with his co-commentator at any stage of the game.

TV producers need to find more commentators like Harsha Bhogle. ESPN's reality show, Harsha ki Khoj, disappointingly enough ended up finding TV anchors for the channel rather than commentators. An ideal combination in the commentary box is someone like Harsha, and someone like Ian Chappell or Boycott. The combination of analysis, cricketing anecdotes, and a cliche-ridden commentary is what will result.

Re: Harsha Bhogle - yes,he has the communication skills and interviewing ability and common sense - but what we really need (ok, what I really need) is for the commentator to add value to my viewing experience i.e. insight into why Dravid hesitated to bowl Bhajji and Kumble together in the first session, what he can do next and why (take a call), explain intricacies in jargon-busting terms (like Simon Hughes used to do so well for C4) and have some fun.

The taking-a-call aspect is critical - baseball commentators are wonderful that way - they stick their necks out and say this is the way the game will unfold - and state the reason why.

Harsha is fantastic at moderating discussions - perfect for pre-and post game shows, and also to get answers out of cricketing greats - but what I would like to see is for him to put these greats in the spotlight. Ask Wasim Akram how he would bowl to Sehwag when Viru is going hammer and tongs over point. Ask Nasser Hussain what field he would set - and why? Ask Ravi Shastri why he insists on calling Agarkar an allrounder (no, perhaps not the last one).

My take on the best commentators out there:
Nasser Hussain, Ian Healy, Simon Hughes, Manjrekar, Shane Warne (he was terrific when he was on C9), David Lloyd and a bolder (not balder:)) Harsha asking the questions.

The worst:
Tony Greig (epsecially when he is hawking C9 merchandise),Bob Willis, Paul Allot, Robin Jackman (can anyone be moe boring?), Arun Lal, Siva, Srinath (he is a terror), and any Sri Lankan.

Re: Mark Nicholas. As an anchor he is fine, but in terms of ball-by-ball commentary he drives me absolutely insane. He rarely offers criticism in the direction of any player and in the seldom occasion he does, it is subject to some type of caveat (bad luck, pitch, opposition, etc.)

His over-use of "greatness" is tedious and, quite frankly, disrespectful,; only last night he referred to Michael Hussey as a hybrid of Border and Gilchrist. The man has barely scored 500 Test runs and played only in Australia.

Best commentators: Nasser Hussain, Michael Atherton, Ian Healy, Ian Chappell, Ian Smith, Harsha Bogle.

Unfortunately, Nicholas it appears, is here to stay.

When I read a lot of these comments I have serious doubts about the people behind them. Especially when the last few users have posted comments about Ian Healy, and his commentary prowess…of lack thereof might I add!!!

How anyone can rate Ian Healy as a good commentator is beyond me… he is ridiculous!!! Rarely have I felt the need to turn the volume down on C9’s coverage but tonight takes the cake. Healy went on and on about god knows what. I’d had enough so I promptly fired up the radio and listened to the ABC. He along with Mark Taylor & Tony Greig are an absolute disgrace! If only K.P. was around and still cared!!!

Some people have spoken of Ian Chappell’s ability to tell a story… I’m sorry but Chappelli’s stories consist of how he was outed of the captaincy all those years ago and how bitter he still is about it! I don’t rate it!

Re: Mark Nichols

I think he’s probably the best of the worst... making him a suitable replacement for Richie on C9. He performs the anchor’s role well enough. The one thing Richie could do was keep you entertained. He’s been around longer than most and always has THE story for the right moment. When things got tough in the commentary box, Richie would know what to do. He’ll be missed! Not sure about Nichols capacity to do that…

Someone I’ve been impressed with is Michael Slater. I think he’s shown something and I believe is one to watch out for…

Honestly, apart from Richie, why any of you bother listen to Channel 9 I don’t understand. The ABC constantly brings/finds the best out there each summer.

Can someone please tell Dean Jones that he is in Pakistan and India are the opponents and that there are no Australians in the field or in the stands and that nobody cares about his career and that of his Aussie team mates and that nobody wants to hear of anything remotely Australian other than perhaps who won the Australian Open and what Naomi Watts and Nicole Kidman are doing nowadays..
I have a hardcover edition of 200 years of Australian Cricket and I suspect most of us in India and Pakistan know who Keith Miller was.

The mute button was invented keeping in mind some one like Dean Jones. Any one who could arrange for him to be send back to Australia would be thanked by millions.

Ha ha, Zainub, very funny and very sharp, do you think if everyone in Karachi contributed a rupee or two Mr. Jones could be on a plane by lunch on the Second day? To borrow Jean Paul Sartre's version of Hell(in the play No Exit)I would have to say Hell would be spending an eternity in a room with a light bulb that never goes out in the company of Dean Jones, David Lloyd and Navjot Singh Sidhu.
I hope you have a good time at the National Stadium and wave at the camera, will you?

best commentator is Ravi Shastri , Gavaskar and Manjerakar. Ravi Shastri is great when sachin, shewag or yuvraj is on fire .. his comments like ..stood n delivered .. in the air and gone .. he is great to listen when INDIA is doing well and when india is down he is aweful to listen ..

Manjerakar holds his own in any situation.

Gavaskar is great for post match and lunch vreak analysis.

Boycott he just know how to praise Ganguly

Tony Greig paraises only sachin.

Among others Nasser hussain is great.

PS: Have u watched the South Africa vs Australia series 2006. The lady commentator is in that series is not only very cute n beautiful . but better than rest of her male counterparts.
If anyone knows her name and have her photos please email me . at : madiy_mayank_panwar@yahoo.com