Hold the back page – Dickie Bird is making his umpiring comeback. Bird is turning out for a celebrity match organised by the International Indian Film Academy (IIFA) at his home ground of Headingley. Let’s hope Sir Geoffrey doesn’t turn up or else there could be a real war of the white roses for the affections of Shilpa Shetty, who’s inevitably making an appearance.

And let’s hope also neither of them, nor star guest Amitabh Buchan, do a Richard Gere – hmm, pleasant thought... The signs aren’t good, though. The press release expects the match to be “action-packed and laced with its fair share of gags and sporting misdemeanours.” So there.

The IIFA celebrity team are captained by pin-up boy Saif Ali Khan, and includes Kapil Dev, Mohammed Azharuddin, Zayed Khan, Suneil Shetty, and Abhishek Bachchan. They will play a UK celebrity cricket team, again with a mix of as-yet-undisclosed players and celebrities.

Tickets are more expensive than for any county game, though – at £22 for adults and £12 for children – but it’s all for a good cause. The match takes place on Friday 8 June.