1) B
2) B
3) C
4) C

And I've seen Michael Clarke and the Aussies do a motorcycle pyramid.
Splendiferous stuff.

Awesome stuff!

You're ginger. And half bald. Back in your cage, muppet. It's not entertaining. I pity you.

Hilarious as always Andy! I think i got the answers.....but then again if i tell them and they are wrong ill look like a moron.

Cricket is very important. Your taking the mickey out of a few games exposes you and those games for what they are. Games. Important sporting ties, used by politicians to replace war in some countries, are played in important countries like Pakistan, South Africa and Argentina. And Ireland. Where the winner gets to take home the loser's country.

Very good.

Q 1 - A
Q 2 - A
Q 3 - B
Q 4 - C

ROFL. Q4b was amazing.

absolutely brilliant!!
PS: Border's "still empty grave" bit was neat man :D

1) E
2) E
3) E
4) E

As you rightly said, the 196 opening partnership set the tone for Englands win. A genuine spinner is what Australia really lack. I should say that the English win is not very significant from these facts. However, this Australian team has the potential to win, even if it plays to 70% of its capacity. It remains to be seen how they fare in the rest of the series.

Brilliant as always Andy, got quite a way of putting things. For the record, my answers (so far) are 1)B 2)A 3)B 4)B

c
d not da biggest part but da main part he also cost ponting the aus leading run scoring record
a
c

1. B
2. B
3. B
4. C
Should Australia win the next test, I reserve the right to change my answers.
Way to go Andy..........

I hope "Ashley" from 2:47 is a girl: because she is an awful "tight-ass".
Not your best work ( you must have writen this with the kids, wives and pets barking at you): regardless, it is still the best stuff on this site.

Andy, more satire gold from half bald Ginger Genius. If your funnies are the main course the sweet taste of comments from those who dont appreciate your brand of humour are just as good! C,B,C,B, love the 5Live podcast also, especially the theory from your gay guest about Stuart Broad's continued inclusion in the squad!!

Impressive effort mate. Loved the bit about Strauss's catch.

Excuse me for being late, the bus took a detour. Some of your test has a), b) and c) and some also has d), is this a hint at the answer I'm meant to give or is it:
a) a glove-exchanging time waste on your part;
b) a cover-up for your 3 dropped catches at 21;
c) too complicated for me to understand;
e) a failure to pick a decent d) to cover for an average selection at c).
You have 5 days to answer, and no references to this being as exciting as watching Nathan 'interesting' Hauritz bowl.

1)b, 2)c, 3)c, 4)a. God help the poms if Stuart Clarke and Shane Watson get back in the side! But the good news for the poms - the Aussie selectors have severe aluminium poisoning from all those cans of beer! Making good, sensible decisions about team selection is far, far beyond them. (Just ask Dean Jones).

Pitiable half bald ginger muppet entertainment genius and I want more.

Pitiable half bald ginger muppet entertainment genius and I want more.

1) A
2) A
3) B
4) B

If you are going to be a quizmaster, at least get your own facts right on the basic questions. Australia did not lose back to back series,have not lost back to back series for over twenty years ( unlike England for whom back to back series losses have been normal), and will not lose back to back series for a long time yet.

Awesome stuff again! The part about the cat was hillarious!

1. C
2. B
3. A
4. B

And also, Ricky has lost his integrity for Cricket. The thing he receievd with Strauss, he should remember that he was once on the giving end at Sydney Test 2008 when he informed the Umpire that the Ganguly catch taken by Clarke was clean whereas the replays said somethin else.
So he should remember,
AS U SOW, SO SHALL U REAP.
There can't be a greater Retirement than Freddy has. Way to go.

Noice stuff. As an Aussie, I'm afraid to say my answer to question 2 is (a). And I've got a nasty suspicion the cat is long gone ...

The answer to Q2 has to be b) - the proof is that they dropped Andrew Symonds for drinking!! The tough Aussie sides prided themselves in their drinking!

Andy!! You NAUGHTY MAN! Your mother was a bowling machine and your father smelled of stump microphones! Now GO AWAY or I shall TAUNT YOU ONCE MORE!!

Thanks very much for that awesome blog post.

Not upto the usual mark, but still funny.
Best ones: B B C A
What I really think :
A A B B
Hope the next one is better.

Q1-C
Q2-A
Q3-C
Q4-C

Mike Hussey is nowhere near as good as that guy Michael Hussey who played for us a couple of years ago - Genius! and sadly, very true...

1. A
2. C (Definitely correct given the sarcasm intended)
3. B (I reckon the funniest and most truthful answer of the lot)
4. C

By the way Australia didn't lose back to back series against India and South Africa. Australia played and beat New Zealand in between those series.

Nice stuff should have made these comments during the 2008 series against India when Ponting informed the umpire abt how to make a decision and Clarke stood after edging a catch to the slip... (as if u Aussies were saints...)

B
B
B
C

Andy, the only difference between you and "Krusty the Clown" is that he doesn't know much about cricket - hang on neither do you, you English nuffie !

What does the Border Gavaskar trophy have to do with this? Just let it rest, for crying out loud!

as an auzzie will blame rudi.his reason for umpiring is because auzzie beat south africa at home.remember that glorious series i do

Very amusing! Excellent stuff!

1.b
2.b
3.b
4.a
And my favourite cricketer is James Anderson so I've a good chance of scoring more than his test batting average, 15.56! Though his average in this series is 38! Go jimmy!

Very funny, good job.

For the guys leaving their answers... er.. there is a small chance that you are missing the point..

B
D
A
C

You're the best thing about English cricket! (From an Australian, BTW!)

A
D
D
C

Genius, as usual, Andy! As for the morons 'taunting' you, you guys must be from the Comedy School of Stating the Bleeding Obvious. Get a life, guys.

My answers spell out the surname of a very ordinary Premiership defender of mid-1990s vintage, first name shared by a very ordinary Aussie opening batsman of current vintage.

Liked "Yes It's The Ashes" this week too.

Love the recent references to Andrew Hilditch's hooking problem: your recall of 1980s Ashes series and feelings towards them are very similar to my own.

1.C
2.D
3.C
4.C

Yeah, very nice. One test win after being almost raped at Cardiff & the English losers go again! Everyone seems to have forgotten the 5-0 whipping down under. Enjoy your moments in the sun for the time being, losers!

that is the most hilarious article, I ever read on Cricinfo. Keep them coming.

Andy reminds me of what Ian Bell might end up looking like after the 3rd test, when he loses half his hair to stress and pigs out on strawberry ice cream to calm the nerves. With Bell and Bopara, it's pretty much the Ginger and Mary Ann show, and no, neither deserves even a 3-hour tour, let alone a full test.

Am amazed at an irrelevant comment about the Indian series when Bhajji called Roy a monkey (or referred to his mum's vajayjay, am not really sure!)... I realize that with 1.3 billion people (400 million of whom live in Birmingham) with nothing else to occupy them than cricket, the odd Indian is bound to show up everywhere, but really, people, everything is NOT about you and Saaaaachin. Give it a rest, since NO ONE CARES.

A
A
B
B

Nice one.

Hey Champ, someone tell "freddie" that bowling out a tailender is no justification for getting down one on knee and raising your arms aloft.

1B - The psychological spell has been broken.
2B - Aussie blokes have been Germaine Greered beyond recognition. But the worm will turn.
3A - When God was handing out brains, Clarke thought he said trains and asked for a slow one.
4C - The ball hit the ground. It wasn't out. Strauss knew it then and he knows it now.

whats the matter champ?? scared to post my comments???

stop being a sook and post them you cat. typical english scum you are! write what you want and only post comments from people that agree with you. you arent worth the fungus that grows between your toes

whats the matter champ?? scared to post my comments???

stop being a sook and post them you cat. typical english scum you are! write what you want and only post comments from people that agree with you. you arent worth the fungus that grows between your toes

Rangaram, your a typical indian whinger.

ill have to go for A,D,C,C.
rofl at Question 2 C

A. Australia lost because they could not sledge.
B. Australia lost because they could not cheat.
C. Australia lost because McGrath and Warne couldn't browbeat, harrass and intimidate the umpires.
D. Australia lost because the master of mind games was Steve Waugh, and Ponting is a very poor imitation.
E. Australia lost because they screwed up their selection, something the Aussies were past masters at. Now England know how to select a team and Oz does not. See Stuart Clark.

australia suck!!
1.A
2.B
3.A
4.B

Dear A-Z,

Not sure if that hyphen should be there. I like your quiz but would like to offer my services as script editor. As a journo you probably only have a sub-editor to help you. Good for punctuation and avoiding law suits but what about a bit of a hand in the comedy department. EG remove the following sentence "I’m fine, never felt better, what are you all fussing about?" and the bowl of milk line starts to work harder. You'll find reference to the Vampire Theory of comedy writing on P.33 of my standard comedy textbook "How to write funny stuff by not using two many long words and convoluted sentences that eventually make the reader lose interest because they have forgotten what the the beginning of the sentence was all about.

Bunty

PS My rates are very competitive.

PPS I love reading the posts of Australian cricket supporters after a loss...they are worst losers and worst winners in world cricket. Shame their team plays such good cricket...on the whole.

Zaltzman is a balding vulva......

A
C
D
C
Not real relevant to this discussion but a top band. Anyway more rubbish pitches, weather and inconsistent umpiring to come, can't wait for the 3rd

@andrew schulz - he refers to the back to back series loses agains India (away) and SA (home). So I think you are wrong in saying AUS have not lost back to back series in 20 years.
My answers are A, B, B, B

How many "english" players are actually english???
with the amount of people living in the country, youd think they might be able to string a team of their own players together.

the captain of their country isnt even english!!!

Strauss
Pieterson
Rashid
Morgan
Prior
Shah

hahahaha disgraceful country

This is a dull arguement.

Rashid was born in Bradford.
Prior, Shah and Strauss have all lived in England since they were children.

Love the article. Pity about some of the posts. Amen Marcus - Some Indian supporters just need to get over it (2007/8 that is, after all, you won the next series easily.) And waterbuffalo, if you are suggesting that Australia's 13-year dominance of world cricket was a result of cheating, sledging and umpire intimidation, you are selling a stunning collection of remarkable cricketers very very short. I do agree with your last two points though. Punter is not, nor ever has been, a particularly good captain, and the Oz selectors with Andrew (WHO?) Hilditch at the helm are atterly clueless.
Look forward to Quiz part III.

Tamil Indian, you goose, they were not back to back series. How hard could it be to check your facts?