Mr Andy...its too long and the past 2 articles, i am sorry to say aren't funny either, even if it's loaded with sarcasm.

Haha....I surely had some suppressed laughter on seeing Broad's last over antics .

I'm confused! I dunno if i'm stupid or everyone else is. I love watching Tests. Its got beauty, the slow build-up, and sometimes the great finish. I love T20s : the sheer atrociousness of shot-making, innovation, nerve rending finishes, unpredictability and the added drama. So why can't both of them be there. The way this Zaltzman guy and the English media put it, its either T20 or Tests. Going by history i can confidently say the English media is the stupid one! Because you see, being an Indian the sheer mental strength it took Gambhir to bat 11 1/2 hrs in NZ for just 137 or so runs was treat to watch. But also the semi finals of the IPL in which Gilchrist battered Delhi into submission or the Mumbai-Jaipur Match.

I'm confused! I dunno if i'm stupid or everyone else is. I love watching Tests. Its got beauty, the slow build-up, and sometimes the great finish. I love T20s : the sheer atrociousness of shot-making, innovation, nerve rending finishes, unpredictability and the added drama. So why can't both of them be there. The way this Zaltzman guy and the English media put it, its either T20 or Tests. Going by history i can confidently say the English media is the stupid one! Because you see, being an Indian the sheer mental strength it took Gambhir to bat 11 1/2 hrs in NZ for just 137 or so runs was treat to watch. But also the semi finals of the IPL in which Gilchrist battered Delhi into submission or the Mumbai-Jaipur Match. Maybe its just that the English just don't have the stomach to contest all 3 formats.

a great blog as usual :)

less lol, rofl and other silly abbreviations than usual, but still genuinely amusing and especially perspicacious and astute.

The last section is particularly on-the-money. Sentiment-wise (if not prose-wise) I could have written it myself. I think the 'if' at the beginning of the last paragraph is a very big 'if', though.

I wonder if I should be concerned that, across the entire cricketing media, the voice which more often than not most represents my own position comes from a humorous alternative blog...

Finally, the andy zaltzman (you are the first guy i know who has two z(i didnt know the plural of z okay) in his name) we know and enjoy is back. heck, that was more confusing than your in-depth analysis on the group of death. eng were good enough to lose to the team who were good enough to lose to pak. and still eng and pak are thru to the super 8s. and after u proved jimmy anderson was a better bat than the don ( in ur column 3 weeks ago), the fact that u proved stuart broad is a world record holder doesnt surprise me.

Hahaa, momentum is a bit of a hype really. I almost had a feeling right before the world T20 that this tournament is not going to be as fascinating as (God forbid) the IPL. There is a certain premeditaion before each match to who is going to win (obviously the first round has seen its share of upsets), in IPL it wasn't the case. Even the one run win of South Africa did not seem to grab the tense nature of IPL, i mean seriously McCullum has definitely some sort of jinx, even the players of the loosing team were all smiles as Oram was run out in the last ball. Lets actually hope there is some good quality cricket to come. And finally, cricket is fighting with it self, absolutely true.

Dear Andy,I like reading your blog.You had me in splits particularly while reading "balls of tungsten","overbalanced like an overfed rhino in a slalom skiing race".You ended your blog on a more serious note-pertaining to test cricket.I cannot but agree more with you on this matter.As the cliche goes-test matches are a test of character.We still remember the test matches of yore featuring the greats of the game who came from various countries.We continue to idolize and remember them.I cannot say the same for this T20 type of cricket.The most important over of the match might be bowled at the beginning before you have eased into your seat;on the same token you might have to answer a phone call and miss the crucial last over of the innings!Not to mention the doorbell suddenly ringing or your daughter asking a physics school question in the middle of an over!!My feeling is that test matches will be played and enjoyed by the discerning.Keep up the good work from the Confectionery Stall.

Nice one Andy, I think your right. The ashes are already Englands. Imagine what the score would have been if us aussies played such an all conquering Dutch side. We would be lucky to score a hundred runs me thinks. Luckily we only need ot worry about the less superior side being England. Perhaps we will be able to match it with them in the longer form of the game although they did beat the minnows from the West Indies in the longer format as well.

Lol. All right article Andy but the last 2 articles havent been that funny. Anyways 1st Comment. Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes even pigs will fly, Paki selectors will never resign and Modi will become president of India soon - so dream on and do not let the 6am alarm wake you up.................

Your usual excellent analysis, Mr. Z. However, you did miss something: you omitted to attribute Engalnd's momentum reversal precisely to the reason that, in your last piece, you "may not have analysed England’s alleged defeat to Netherlands with quite the rigour some would have expected". Your sparing the England side from punishment at the hands of the Zaltman Whipping Rod gave them blush respite from The Only Critique That Matters. This act alone gave impetus to the fine performance against Pakistan. Take your critical thrashing of young Broad's performance - you showed true journalistic grace in allowing him room to recover his convictions after his inspired final over against Netherlands; comedy that even Charlie Chaplin couldn't compete with.

Round of applause for the 'breakfast tournament' line. I may organise, participate in and judge one, if such a hands-on approach does not contravene the spirit of the game.

I thought it was funny

The point system and the seeding system to decide who plays in what group in the super 8's is the most dumbest idea they could have come up with

Andy, T20 has no comparison to test cricket and little comparison to ODIs. Why you compare sides on their test form of years gone by in this form of the game I do not know? Plus how can you say Strauss has the ashes 'all but in his back pocket?' T20 form has precious little to do with test form, as well as the fact that few players in the T20 squad will be in the test squad!

Wake up Mr.Zaltzman. England winning ashes!!!!!. may be in your dreams

You talk about what Sri Lanka did before 1985. That's irrelavant, Sri Lanka are a good team and they deserve to be where they are today. They can beat any team in thw world on their day.

Wow, the last 4 posters have no concept of sarcasm!

"If all else fails, immortality can be assured by spectacular failure." - Anon (Actually I don't remember who...and I think I've paraphrased)

Such a shame some people don't get sarcasm, great blog as always!!!

As an Aussie I am prepared to admit that if England recover and win the T20, then they will inevitably regain the Ashes 6-0. Or possibly 7-0.

The serious final section was absolutely spot on, too. It's good to see that your satire is firmly based in a genuine love of the game.

Everyone, outside of Oz, is convinced that we are a shadow of our former selves on the cricket field. So let me see, we just reclaimed the No1 test ranking in South Africa, & have unearthed a new opening batsmen, & bowling attack. Unfortuneately for the pommies, test go for longer than 40 overs.

P.S Will we be playing England; England & Wales; Great Britain; United Kingdom; Europe or the British & Irish Lions. PMSL

"Watching player after player haul his front leg out of the way and mow the ball over midwicket becomes decreasingly interesting."

It's nice to know I'm not the only person who doesn't like Graham Napier, the slogger chav.

Great blog as always Andy. However, still can't find your second audio report. Please could you stick a link to it somewhere that's easy to find!

After this article I have no choice but to revise my earlier prediction of 2-2 in the ashes. Obviously it will be 4-0 to the aussies with one spectacular draw in the fifth test. I like England's bowlers but the batting oh dear, I take it Collingwood will keep his place for all 5 tests. Of course there is still time for me to change my mind. Who knows, the entire middle order might contract the flu.

Andy, why do you neglect me so? :(

Andy, get your facts right man....Aussies were dumped by Sri Lanka...correct. But Sri Lanka started playing tests only in 1982 not 1877..now wonder what else you get mixed up!!!

excuse me?? sri lanka didnt win a single test between 1877 to 1985? maybe its got some thing to do with the fact that sri lanka were only given test status in 1982!! And if you ask me, they have done pretty well to win a world cup within 14 years after achieving test status. How about New Zealand, South Africa and England?? They have played cricket a lot longer than sri lanka and they still havent a world cup.

excuse me?? sri lanka didnt win a single test between 1877 to 1985? maybe its got some thing to do with the fact that sri lanka were only given test status in 1982!! And if you ask me, they have done pretty well to win a world cup within 14 years after achieving test status. How about New Zealand, South Africa and England?? They have played cricket a lot longer than sri lanka and they still havent a world cup.

Sri Lanka earned their Test status in 1982 and recorded the first test victory (and also first series win) against India in 1985. It was only their 14th match. By the time they recorded their first win they had only conceeded 8 losses. That I would say not quite bad.

Nisal and Lionsblood96...are you guys serious? Umm, don't you think the author KNOWS about Sri Lanka's relatively recent test status? Don't you get it? HE KNOWS!! AARRRGHHH!!!!(slaps self in the face).
Thanks Andy for some great writing(if too subtle perhaps)

Obviously Mr. Saltzman's fame as a satirist has not reached the shores of Sri Lanka as yet, but give it time, the British Empire wasn't built in a day.

This guy's columns are very hit and miss as regards amusement value. No wonder some posters didn't realise it was meant to be funny.

well well,can a 10year old write an article? im abit baffled. zaltzman you should grow up man. tbh im an sl fan,but i kinda liked england for their metropolitan style of approach to cricket so tantalizingly tranquilizing. But sir,they havent even reached quarter finals even in a convincing tournament. When was england termed as 'hot contendors' last time? i have bin following cricket for a while now,quite a while actually,and i have seen srilanka win tournaments a plenty of times,the ratio will be somin like 200:1 srilanka. and believe me,in the last four world cups,srilanka reached the finals twice,semifinals thrice(50over format). they won icc champions trophy the mini world cup twice. so england my friend, go shove it up yours. even an extremely violent diehard and optimistic indian fan,has a heart that wouldnt sound so imbecile and outrageous. time to bed boy,get some sleep,thats wots best for you.
p.s- read your satires,found em very gross and dry. try no stalking next time. readers aren your shoulder to be wiping your tears and hearing your pastures after your late night high dose of ethane.

We could cancel future West Indies test matches in England to reduce fixture congestion. The lack of effort put in by the Windies in this years matches was nothing short of a disgrace and if I had paid money to watch and been served up that nonsense I would have been after my money back. If they don't want to be here thay should do the decent thing and not book a series.